In the contemporary organizational discourse, “bringing our whole self to work” is an idiom often lauded as symbolic of a progressive, inclusive workplace culture. Coined by Mike Robins, a speaker and author, this mantra encourages employees to show up as their fully authentic selves, professionally and personally, without fear of judgment or exclusion. Alas, this expression masks an innate paradox at the epicenter of the modern workforce: the illusion of a supportive culture that necessitates authenticity while simultaneously suppressing or penalizing its expression.

Historically, the work environment explicitly encouraged a division of self, where work and personal identities were to remain separate. This compartmentalization was limiting for employees. Although one can assume its drawbacks on the psyche of employees, at least it was transparent. In contrast, today’s workplaces conceal this reality under the guise of inclusion and the privilege to “bring all of you” to work, while subtly coercing individuals to display curated versions of themselves to align with corporate needs. The reality is: employees must still leave their burdens at the door, compartmentalize grief, suppress uncertainty, and mute the ever-complex realities of life in the name of productivity and professionalism.

The workplace is not, and has never been, insulated by the realities and pressures of the outside world. As the physical boundaries between work and life continue to dissolve, and employees grow tired of co-opting half versions of themselves, the HR profession and people leaders find themselves at a critical inflection point. This edition of Kelly’s culture encourages HR practitioners, people leaders, and culture agents to reimagine the workplace as a space that acknowledges and supports the whole person, because the reality is that life happens at work too.

Embedded Hardship: How Personal Crisis Intersects with Work

In spite of corporate rhetoric regarding empathy and inclusion, many organizations consistently fail to support employees through deeply human experiences and challenges. For example, a 2023 survey by insurance broker NFP found 57% of employers surveyed offered three days of bereavement leave, while 18% offered five days. The duration of bereavement outlined is often associated with immediate family solely, meaning the passing of other critical members of the family, such as aunts, uncles, or cousins, are subject to even shorter times of support. These limited timeframes fall short in covering the logistical demands of funeral planning, let alone providing the space necessary for emotional recovery.

Similarly, employees often encounter insufficient support when they face medical crises, whether their own or family members. Let us take caregivers, for example. According to Harvard Business School’s Project on Managing the Future of Work, 73% of U.S. employees report having some current caregiving responsibility. A survey by the National Alliance for Caregiving found that 70% of working caregivers experience work-related challenges due to the demands of balancing job responsibilities with caregiving duties, and 61% report that these responsibilities directly impact their job performance. In many workplaces, caregivers have found little flexibility built into work schedules, limited access to paid leave, and a persistent fear that requesting accommodation will be seen as a lack of commitment. This reality highlights a critical gap between employee needs and employer support systems.

In a more progressive approach, some of the biggest corporations in America are modifying their bereavement policies positively. Google expanded paid bereavement leave to 20 days for immediate family members and up to 10 days for extended family, in conjunction with providing counseling services and support groups to help employees through their grief. Goldman Sachs adjusted their leave of absence policies to allowing an employee to four weeks of paid leave to include other experiences beyond bereavement including: care for family members with serious health conditions, due to military deployment; foster care placement of a child in employee’s home; miscarriage / stillborn birth suffered by yourself, spouse/partner or surrogate. While these policies should be celebrated, such policies remain the exception, not the norm.

Childcare is another major hindrance in the lives of many employees. Research indicates more than 40 percent of American families struggle to find affordable childcare. Economic Policy Institute’s new report illustrates that childcare for one infant costs more than rent in seventeen states and more than in-state college tuition in thirty-eight states. Given the astronomical cost of childcare, parents are evaluating whether to leave the workforce, reduce their work schedules, or keep paying the cost. Despite positive trends of childcare relief through hybrid or remote work during the pandemic, the rise in demand for employees returning to the office has stifled any gains. Employers have responded with superficial commitments to flexible work hours, without equipping managers with training to lead with trust and empathy; such efforts often fail to create meaningful flexibility, leaving employees feeling micromanaged and unsupported.

The combination of inflation and the probability of a recession in 2025 has many employees financially stressed. Rising inflation erodes the purchasing power of paychecks, reducing employees’ ability to cover the same expenses as before. When employees feel financially constrained, there is the potential for talent to leave the organization in pursuit of greater financial gains. Then, sometimes, the stress impacts employees' productivity on the job. One commonly overlooked solution is implementing cost-of-living adjustments (COLAs), designed to align wages with economic realities. Despite their ability to help employees maintain their standard of living, COLAs are rarely implemented in the U.S. workforce, especially in sports.

A review of the Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) website reveals limited recent discussion on the topic, with the most prominent reference dating back to a 2010 article noting, "Only 11 percent of U.S. employers say that they award cost-of-living adjustments (COLAs) to employees."  This article found that the most common ways practitioners and employers granted pay raises were due to promotional and merit-based work. However, this begs the question of what happens in organizations where mobility is limited, and roles are not bonus-eligible. Individuals are going years without pay increases. These findings suggest a broader trend of employers’ underutilization of compensation strategies, yielding a missing opportunity to support employees’ financial well-being in terms of economic strain.

The real and often unavoidable personal crises employees face, combined with organizational policy failures, reflect a broader cultural refusal to design work structures that accommodate life's unpredictability. Personal hardship is not an “opt-out” from professional performance; it is part of labor's existence. Treating it as an inconvenient exception only deepens the very things organizations claim to seek to mitigate: inequity, disconnection, invisibility, and burnout.

Turning Intentions into Infrastructure

It is time to critically reassess the corporate narrative of “bringing yourself whole selves to work,” particularly within organizational cultures that reinforce emotional invisibility through norms and policies. To address this, hiring managers and HR practitioners must take intentional steps to foster emotional validity and personal hardships within the workplace. Here is a few suggestions:

Policies:

• Life Disruption Disclosure Clause—Build formal space into one-on-ones and performance management cycles where employees can notate any major life disruptions (loss, illness, caregiving, financial constraints). Ensure these disclosures are considered in performance evaluations. This yields manager accountability around empathy and strategy around effective leadership.
• In-House Counselors or Therapists – Licensed professionals embedded within the company, available for confidential, no-cost sessions during work hours. There are already some teams offering this type of support: Nashville Predators being one I am the most familiar with
• Crisis Care Fund—Allocate a dedicated crisis fund for employees facing sudden emotional or life crises. This can be an application-based option or application-free; regardless, the disbursement should be fast, confidential, and trust-based. This fund can support a range of options, including family emergencies, domestic violence, housing displacement, and more.
• Trauma-Informed Manager Training—Require managers to complete trauma-informed leadership training. This should include topics such as developing a psychologically safe environment, de-escalating emotionally charged moments, empathetic listening, signs of burnout, and a framework for supporting employees through tough times.

Norms:

• Addressing the Elephant—People leaders and culture advocates are trained to acknowledge when something heavy is present (e.g., layoffs, loss in the community, big mess-ups) so emotional undercurrents are not pacified in favor of “professionalism.”
• Promote the pause – Create a workplace culture where slowing down is seen not as hesitation, but as discernment. Whether navigating grief, processing critical feedback, or considering a high-stakes project, employees should feel empowered to take a pause before responding. The notion of “I need a moment” or “let me think about that” should be seen as a decision to lead with intention.

Employees often spend more hours at work than at home, yet our current working model fails to fully recognize or accommodate the complexities of their external realities beyond work. Life’s personal, familial, or societal challenges inevitably influence an employee’s ability to engage and perform at work. In moments when caregiving, health, social justice, and economic precarity collide in employees' lives, it is no longer sufficient to expect compartmentalization while asking for “their whole selves.” Now more than ever, organizations must deliberately integrate policies and practices that support employees in their professional roles and holistic well-being. Companies can cultivate a more resilient, engaged, and productive workforce by embracing practices that recognize life's disruptions. Let us build workplaces where life does not have to pause at the threshold.